Episode 30 | Mar 4, 2021
The Courage to Connect. Guests: Ciaran O’Connor and John Wood, Jr.
It’s no revelation that Americans aren’t getting along. But Braver Angels is working to address this problem. The organization brings Americans together to bridge the partisan divide, offering tools and running workshops that convince Republicans and Democrats to meet but not necessarily in the middle. “Conflict can actually be a pathway to intimacy and connection rather than division, if you have the right structure for bringing people together,” says Ciaran O’Connor, the organization’s Chief Marketing Officer. We’re delighted to have Ciaran and Braver Angels' National Ambassador John Wood, Jr. on the show to describe their methods, largely based on marriage counseling techniques, and to talk about where to go next. “How do you scale that up and apply that to the digital space, given that that is the key battlefield?” asks John. Technology companies play a role here, and the wisdom of people doing the work on the ground is a valuable guide.
Major Takeaways
Conflict can actually be a pathway to intimacy and connection rather than division—if you have the right structure to bring people together.
Braver Angels is working to create community and ongoing relationships reinforced through communication, workshops, collaboration, and shared rituals. For example:
~Focusing on a common goal or objective can help us cooperate and find common ground with people we disagree with.
~In an exercise called a “fishbowl,” people sit silently and observe while their political opposites describe themselves in their own language. This approach helps us break down stereotypes and build shared understanding.
~When interacting with people you disagree with, remember the acronym “LAPP” or Listen, Acknowledge, Pivot (evaluate the situation and consider what you want to say), and Perspective (now share your thoughts if the other person has indicated interest).
Sometimes it’s our own side exacerbating stereotypes and preventing us from meeting and finding common ground with the other side.
We need to root conversations in local communities. Braver Angels emphasizes a sense of civic culture that equates loving your country with empathy and concern for your neighbors, and even your adversaries.
Other recommended reading
The focus group with Trump and Biden voters
Facilitated by political commentator Frank Luntz opens the episode and provides a vivid example of the divides that we face as a country
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion
By Jonathan Haidt, a book that details the relationship between morality and psychology
The Speed of Trust
By Stephen M. R. Covey, a book that emphasizes the idea echoed in the podcast that we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior
“Can Marriage Counseling Save America?”
By Andrew Ferguson for The Atlantic, an article that further explains the work of Braver Angels
A speech from Aspen Institute’s #WeaveThePeople 2019
By John Wood, Jr. where he further explains his foundations in relationship-building between partisans
Six Triggers Bring People Together in Almost Any Setting
By The Institute for InterGroup Understanding, a model referenced in the podcast as a “Maslow’s Hierarchy” for group alignment
